Who am I? Where am I? Where am I going? Am I a good person? Will I ever fall in love? Will I settle down? ARGH!!!!

These are but a few the many questions that tear my mind apart daily as 30 dawns upon me. I have had many a counseling session about these tormenting questions but am still far from clear on the answers. However, I do find solace in the knowledge that I am not alone and it comforts me to know that most of my friends who too are nearing their 30's, are coming up against the same predicaments.
What is it about this period that brings on such confusion and self analysis. Well, I think I may have the answer!!! At the very least a theory that helps me get at least 4 hours sleep a night.
It's called Saturn returns.

As I am and always have been aware of most things astrological and Karmic, I've been aware of this phenomenon and when it would impact me since a very early age. Although, knowing hasn't lessened the blow and in the face of it, it can be a very scary time. It does surprise me however to learn that alot of people I've spoken to about it have never heard of it before, and hence, the intention of this blog.
Basically, Saturn returns marks the period when the planet Saturn orbits around the sun and returns to the same spot it was approximately 29.5 years prior- Hence the name "Saturn Returns".
What does this have to with you you may ask. Well, Saturn as a planet represents such things as Responsibility, Lessons, Maturity, Limitations and fears to name but a few. What this means for us as twenty somethings is that it is a time of taking ownership of our past, figuring out who we are now and transcending into our futures as adults- EEEK! To put it another way, Saturn slaps you in the face and shows you who you are, where you are and what you've become.
So if your feeling confused, insecure or lost- You are not alone!!!
I have felt the slap- Hard!!! What I'm getting from it though, as the sting slowly wears off, is a strong desire to be someone different. To make apposing choices to the ones my overtly rebellious and self destructive side of self would make. To be a good person, to love myself and not to take everything for granted. To give more and to love more openly.
So you see there IS a flip-side, you've gotta swim through a bit of poo, but as I'm slowly discovering there is a light at the end and I can't wait to get there.